Prerequisites for an integral We
When people truly connect with one another, something happens that is greater than the sum of the individuals. An “integral We” does not arise as an ideal, but as a space of experience that opens up when certain inner capacities have matured.
This takes more than good intentions or group dynamics. It takes individuals who can observe themselves without getting lost in analysis. People who do not experience their bodily sensations, feelings, and thoughts as separate phenomena, but as one connected system of perceiving, sensing, and understanding.
The body shows what is really there. Feeling gives direction even before words arrive. The mind brings clarity without disturbing the flow. When all three levels are allowed to speak with one another, an inner coherence arises that can be felt on the outside.
In combination with practices such as Honest Sharing (Ehrliches Mitteilen, after Gopal Norbert Klein), this being together comes alive: Words become more direct, encounter becomes more real. Trust grows, less and less through intention and more and more through resonance.
In The Religion of Tomorrow, Ken Wilber describes four basic axes for this, which ring true to me:
Attitude (stance), Altitude (maturity), Aptitude (competence), and Affection (the quiet force that connects).
When these forces permeate one another, the space begins in which consciousness awakens not only individually, but together.
Some of the prerequisites I have observed (in no particular order, and with no claim to completeness):
The ability to perceive oneself and others with alert, nonjudgmental attention
Willingness to let go of attachments and entrenched views
Access to inner observation—being able to look at one’s own experience from the outside
Interplay of body, feeling, and mind: sensing, feeling, understanding
Awareness of unconscious parts and their effect on how we are with one another
Courage for honest, nondefensive self-inquiry
The practice of Honest Sharing: speaking directly and in the present about sensations, feelings, and thoughts
The ability to hold tensions or unpleasant situations without reacting immediately
Patience and the ability to defer reward or validation until later
The insight that I experience emotions but am not them—inner freedom through awareness
Grounding in oneself and responsibility in dealing with larger challenges
Compassion and emotional intelligence—even when things get difficult
Openness to perspectives that are not ego-centered and to shared consciousness